Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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