man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
