I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
