She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
