If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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