How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
