im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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