Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
no you cant smoke seaweed
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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