So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
