You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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