the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
