His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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