you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
