found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
