Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
