Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
