It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
