you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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