I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
