hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
