You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize