forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
