I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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