I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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