Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
