walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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