They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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