don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My pussy is not your playground.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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