you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
