I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
