i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
