bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
