Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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