Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize