She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
