Ambien. No doubt about it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
