On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
