i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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