but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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