Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
