covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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