Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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