Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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