I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
