Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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