I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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