Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
