big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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