i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Blood and glitter go together right?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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