brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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