Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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