Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
