it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
