i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
