One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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