I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize