Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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