then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
