I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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