Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
