Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
