i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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