You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
